Fork of Profuse Puncturing

Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 10th
Slot —; Price 18,302 gp; Weight 1 lb.

DESCRIPTION

At first glance, this appears to be nothing more than a perfectly ordinary steel dinner fork. It bears no gemstones, no gilding, no elaborate engravings, and no indication whatsoever that it is magical. It is balanced surprisingly well, however, and somehow feels entirely natural in the hand despite being unmistakably a piece of tableware.

The Fork of Profuse Puncturing functions as a +1 keen wounding fork. Treat it as a dagger in all respects, except that it deals 1d4 points of piercing damage and resembles an utterly mundane eating utensil. It threatens a critical hit on a 17-20 and deals double damage on a successful critical hit. Every successful hit also bestows 1 point of Constitution bleed damage, as described by the wounding special ability. The fork can be thrown with a range increment of 10 feet and may be used in melee or as a thrown weapon exactly as a dagger.

Despite its absurd appearance, the fork is fully capable of bypassing damage reduction and interacting with feats, class abilities, and magical effects exactly as though it were a dagger.

LORE

Legends claim the first of these bizarre weapons was created after two rival archmages spent an entire royal banquet arguing whether enchantment cared about dignity. One insisted that legendary power belonged only in legendary weapons. The other quietly enchanted the nearest dinner fork.

When a challenger mocked the ridiculous utensil and accepted a duel, witnesses expected a brief comedy. Instead, the enchanted fork carved through armor with uncanny precision, leaving wounds that refused to close. The duel ended quickly, and the laughter stopped even more quickly.

Today, surviving Forks of Profuse Puncturing are treasured by pranksters, assassins, eccentric nobles, and adventurers with an irrepressible sense of humor. Veterans know better than to laugh when someone confidently points a fork at them.

CONSTRUCTION

Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, keen edge, rage, creator must be at least 10th level; Cost 9,302 gp + 720 XP

Kelwyn's Notes

I have spent centuries cataloging artifacts capable of leveling castles, slaying dragons, or reshaping kingdoms. It is therefore deeply irritating that one of the more memorable magical weapons in my collection is, beyond all argument, a dining utensil.

Many apprentices laugh upon seeing it. They invariably ask whether it is meant as a joke. I encourage them to hold that opinion until after the first sparring match. Education often arrives with several inconvenient puncture wounds.

There exists a dangerous misconception that appearances determine capability. The universe has never shared that opinion. A fork may become a weapon, a shepherd may become a king, and a peasant's walking stick may someday carry enough enchantment to humble a tyrant. Reality possesses a delightfully wicked sense of irony.

I confess I have carried this fork to diplomatic dinners on several occasions. No threats were made, yet negotiations tended to proceed with remarkable civility once everyone realized I had absentmindedly set my enchanted utensil beside my plate. It is astonishing how polite people become when cutlery is demonstrably lethal.

Should you ever discover one of these curiosities, resist the temptation to ask why anyone would create such a thing. The better question is why anyone believed they could not. Magic has never been constrained by common sense, and I have long since stopped expecting it to begin.