Hobbyhorse of the Merry Cavalier

Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot —; Price 16,000 gp; Weight 3 lb.

DESCRIPTION

At first glance, this item appears to be nothing more than a finely crafted wooden hobbyhorse mounted upon a polished ash pole. Speaking the command word while straddling the hobbyhorse causes both it and its rider to rise smoothly into the air until the rider sits at approximately the same height they would atop a Medium riding horse. Although no physical horse exists beneath the rider, an invisible magical force supports both rider and mount.

Once activated, the Hobbyhorse of the Merry Cavalier functions as a perfectly trained light horse. It responds instantly to the rider's spoken commands and body movements, allowing it to walk, trot, canter, gallop, stop, back, turn, leap, and maneuver with all the grace and responsiveness of a living mount. The hobbyhorse has a land speed of 60 feet and may run at ×4 speed.

The hobbyhorse occupies the same space as a Medium mount and grants its rider all the normal benefits and penalties of mounted combat, except where those benefits require the mount itself to make attacks. The hobbyhorse cannot make hoof attacks, trample, overrun, or otherwise attack creatures. It is never considered combat-trained.

The hobbyhorse remains no more than 5 feet above the nearest solid surface beneath it. It traverses hills, stairs, ramps, bridges, shallow water, uneven ground, and similar terrain exactly as though invisible legs carried it. It cannot climb vertical surfaces, leap farther than a normal horse, or move into an area where no supporting surface exists within 5 feet below. It is not capable of true flight.

The hobbyhorse can carry up to 300 pounds, including the rider and all equipment. It never tires and requires no food, water, sleep, or rest. Because it is not a living creature, it is immune to fear, poison, disease, mind-affecting effects, ability damage, ability drain, death effects, and any effect requiring a Fortitude save unless that effect also affects objects.

The hobbyhorse is a magical object with hardness 5 and 10 hit points. It may be attacked normally while active or inactive. If reduced to 0 hit points while activated, its enchantment immediately fails. If it is within 20 feet of a solid surface, it gently lowers its rider to the ground before collapsing into a broken, nonmagical wooden toy. If no suitable surface exists within 20 feet, or if circumstances prevent a safe descent, the rider falls normally from their current height. Once destroyed, the Hobbyhorse of the Merry Cavalier permanently loses its magical properties and cannot be repaired by mundane or magical means; a new item must be crafted.

Speaking the command word a second time dismisses the enchantment. The hobbyhorse gently lowers its rider to the ground before returning to its ordinary, toy-like appearance. Activating or dismissing the hobbyhorse is a standard action.

LORE

Legends disagree on who first conceived the impossible notion of riding a child's toy into earnest adventure. Some claim it was the work of a court jester determined to humble a vain king who judged worth solely by appearances. Others insist the enchantment originated with a practical wizard who sought a mount requiring neither stable nor fodder. Gnomish storytellers, however, simply grin and suggest that perhaps both tales are true.

Though its appearance invites laughter, seasoned travelers have long recognized the item's remarkable practicality. The hobbyhorse never throws a shoe, never bolts in fear, never requires grooming, and never complains after days of continuous travel. Couriers, wandering performers, hedge wizards, and adventurous children grown into adventurous adults have all found reasons to treasure the humble wooden steed.

Many owners report an unexpected consequence of carrying the hobbyhorse. Villagers who might otherwise greet a heavily armed traveler with suspicion often find themselves smiling instead. Even the sternest gate guards have been known to suppress a laugh as a fully armored knight trots confidently toward them atop what appears to be nothing more than a carved stick. In dangerous times, a moment of shared laughter can prove as valuable as enchanted steel.

CONSTRUCTION

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, phantom steed; Cost 8,000 gp + 640 XP

KELWYN'S NOTES

I have encountered dragons with impeccable manners, demons capable of polite conversation, and kings possessing all the wisdom of spoiled geese. Experience has therefore taught me never to judge a thing by how ridiculous it first appears. The Hobbyhorse of the Merry Cavalier is a splendid example of this principle.

Many apprentices believe powerful magic must always cloak itself in grandeur. They carve dragons into their staffs, adorn their robes with stars, and insist every incantation be delivered as though addressing the heavens. Then along comes some cheerful enchanter who places years of arcane study into a child's toy and quietly rides past them while they are still saddling their horses.

I confess there is a certain elegance in removing every unnecessary complication from the notion of a mount. No feeding. No grooming. No mucking stalls. No frightened animal shying from fireballs or roaring monsters. The enchantment preserves every useful quality of horseback travel while dispensing with those inconveniences that stablemasters have accepted for centuries.

I have also observed that the rider's dignity survives only if the rider chooses to let it. Those who blush, apologize, or attempt to explain themselves become the subject of every jest. Those who sit proudly, offer a courteous nod, and continue on their journey soon discover that confidence has a curious way of silencing mockery. People are remarkably reluctant to laugh at someone who is plainly enjoying the joke more than they are.

So should fate ever place one of these delightful contrivances into your hands, mount it with a smile. Ride boldly through the marketplace. Tip your hat to the onlookers. There is profound magic in refusing to let embarrassment govern your actions. A brave soul upon a hobbyhorse will travel much farther than a fearful soul upon the finest stallion ever bred.